February 16, 2009

• On Being Normal

  Yesterday, as planned, my Mom and Dad came over for Sunday/Anniversary dinner.  I made a roast and potatoes and carrots in the crockpot, we had some yeast rolls, applesauce, and a delicious salad.  For dessert I had Valentine’s cookies, lemon bars, pudding (desserts that people had made me for dinner this week ).  They stayed about three hours, we chatted about nothing of major consequence, they saw our new fish in the aquarium, looked at the hole where we had the basement leak fixed, and then went home.

  None of that was newsworthy, was it?  But it was so NORMAL it was wonderful.  One of the things that makes me craziest about cancer is how abnormal it makes you feel.  You are loaded up with drugs, you lose all your hair, and end up redrawing some of it on your face, your body is compromised by fatigue and pain, and things that were easy really aren’t.  But for a while yesterday, I felt like a normal, boring, middle class, middle aged person having her parents over for Sunday dinner.  I appreciated everything – from the relative cleanness of my house, and the way the meal turned out, to being able to get the table cleared and dishes in the dishwasher while still visiting with my guests, to Mike helping clear the table and take care of the animals.  It was so disgustingly average and – well – normal.

  I used to pray not to be normal.  It’s so interesting how things change, isn’t it?

  • 8:44 am
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