Where did the time go?  Yesterday, my BFF Rachel and I were awarded our ten year service plaques at chapel, along with the senior government teacher who received his 25 year award.  Truthfully, there were six or seven of us that started together at Lutheran North back in 1999…and now the only two who remain are Rach and me.  It was really an honor to be in front of the school, and I got a nice ovation from the kids.

Someone asked me later in the day how many years total I had been teaching, and I tried to do the math in my head – since 1978, several other schools, for one to five years each.  Why did I last at North?  Well, probably because I saved the very best for last, and this is the school I intend to retire from. 

…although there were times the last two weeks when I wished I could just go into a coma for a couple of days, or magically be transported to my happy place…wherever THAT is.  As you may have guessed by that intro, I’ve had some health issues.

SARCASTIC ALTEREGO:  “had some health issues.”  Sistah, you take the cake.  You were nearly hospitalized, you missed several days of school, you threw up for the first time in your life, and your skin is peeling off.  You don’t need to sugah coat it, sistah.  (apparently my sarcastic alterego is Southern?)

Sorry, SARCASTIC ALTEREGO.  I was warming up the crowd before I hit them with vomit and diarrhea.  I think I owe them that much, don’t you?  So when we last left me, I was having a pity party.  That was May 9.  Today, May 25, I’m still suffering from the side effects of the Evil Orangeade – my feet look like snakes in the middle of a skin change, my entire trunk was blackened, but that layer of skin is peeling away leaving new pink stuff, and my hands are on their third skin change.  This Hand and Food Syndrome stinks a lot.  I’m supposed to have chemo next Friday, which is a week later than scheduled, to allow healing.  Well, today is truly the first day that I can say I think I’m finally over the hump and beginning to get better.

SARCASTIC ALTEREGO:  Okay, okay, that wouldn’t have kept you away for a record 16 days, sistah.  Tell ‘em the good stuff.

What my S.A. is referring to is a little thing that I picked up in between all of this – a lousy stomach virus that has knocked stronger people than me on their butts.  I finally gave in and went to my oncologist about it when I spent a week ago Sunday learning how to throw up, and then practicing it 27 times to make sure I had it.  Yes, me.  The one who has never thrown up in three years of chemo, who hasn’t thrown up since she was a babe in arms, is now a veteran.  Yay.  NOT.

My fear was that it was something cancer related.  When my doc told me it was a simple virus and I had nothing to do but wait it out, I was thrilled.  Although I was very nearly hospitalized for IV fluids, I was thrilled.  I went on a diet of G2 (which I HATE) and soft foods, which I’m still working to upgrade. (I’ve made it to “chicken.”  I’m not sure when I’ll get back to “mexican” but it won’t be anytime soon.)  My diet has been primarily mashed potatoes, hot cereal, yogurt and the occasional eggs.  Toast is a biggie too.

I’ve lost a bunch of weight, of which some will come back, since I lost 20 pounds in ten days!  But I did get a great present from my favorite cousin: a 3 1/2 foot tall stuffed flamingo with a pink mohawk and fluorescent yellow-green legs!!!  He’s the best flamingo I’ve ever gotten, bar none, and he’s so big he sits next to me on the sofa like a people!!

Anything to add, S.A.??  No?  Hey, did anyone else notice that S.A. could stand for a variety of things besides SARCASTIC ALTEREGO??

Good day, sportsfans! Remember when I said I got a “chemical burn” on my hands and feet (three weeks ago?) Well, it isn’t healing. In fact, it took a turn for the worse right after my last chemo on Friday.

(We will pause briefly here to see if anyone else jumps to the conclusion that I was extremely slow to reach. Ready? Okay, moving on.)

Curious ol’ me decided to do some research on Doxil, my current chemo – the ol’ evil orangeade. As I Googled and Yahooed and pointed and clicked, one phrase kept showing up: Hand-Foot Syndrome. Apparently, the number one side effect for Doxil is a condition called HFS, Hand-Foot Syndrome. It’s defined as a side effect that causes numbness, burning, itching, flaking, blistering, swelling and pain.

JACKPOT!!

How dumb am I? OF COURSE it’s a side effect. I get nearly every one, as we all know…apparently the only cure for this one is to stop treatment or to minimize the dose. Nothing I’ve read says it’s permanent, and frankly, unless it is, I’m going to put up with the pain. This chemo is working, and I don’t want to mess with it.

I am in so much pain.  This Hand-Foot Syndrome is the worst side effect I’ve ever had. You all know I hate to whine or complain, and would much prefer to be positive and uplifting.  But it hurts so much.  SO much I can’t even explain it.  It’s like having bedsores on every part of your body that touches another part or the floor or a desk.  I have an open wound on my elbow from the pressure of setting my elbow on the desk.  My fingers hurt tremendously to even bend them (then why are you typing, numbskull?) The skin is coming off in sheets from between my fingers.  My feet are in halfway decent shape, except for the pain, because I keep them slathered in aloe and moisturizer, and in white socks and big ol’ klunky Reebok walkers.

Last night I skipped the prom because I couldn’t find anything that I could wear that was appropriate.  I know, I know, the kids wouldn’t have cared one way or the other, but I really feel that awful.  My skin is turning blackish in certain areas, purplish in others, and bright pink where it has peeled off.  I’m a technicolor nightmare.

Yesterday my chemo nurse called to tell me that I’m doing everything I can already, and that doctor was going to lower the dosage.  Damn.  I hope it still works.  I pray it still works.  Please, God. 

After my last chemo, my numbers had not responded at all.  They had climbed to 363, then 364, then a startling 499 – very close to where I had begun three years ago.  But the weird part was how wonderful I’ve been feeling by comparison.  My tumor has basically dissolved, and I feel better than I have in a year.  I had chemo today, and when I got there, the chemo nurses were giggling and about jumping out of their skins.

Lisa had a big piece of paper towel rolled up in her hands.

She and Maria stood in front of me.

“What?”  I asked, a little weary, a little bedraggled at the end of the long week.

Lisa unrolled the towel poster.

139

I gasped and tears came to my eyes.  I jumped up and we three hugged and danced, danced and hugged.

Then I sat down and had my chemo.  Ahhh.